More June Movie Previews

Huh. So June movies are looking a bit...well...When the bright spot might actually be Spider-Man 2, I start to panic a bit. Fortunately I won't be in the country, will get to see a bunch of European films not yet released here, and you poor saps are stuck with the remnants. That said, let's contemplate the bright spots.

June 2: Donnie Darko: The Director's Cut. Okay, so it's not exactly fair that I'm putting this on the list, as it appears to only be playing in Seattle. What needs to be said about this? You've all seen the original (and if not, for shame!). And with twenty minutes of additional footage, I can only taunt you all, and myself, with the prospect...

June 4: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. You look at the screen aghast, I can tell. But hell, it's not going to be any worse than any other summer special effects extravaganza, it has some mild cred with Alfonso Cuarón (although, guilty confession, I'm not so much a huge fan of Y Tu Mamá, También), and, well, Hermione and Harry seem to have improved with age...I mean...Uh. Alan Rickman! Alan Rickman is cool, forget my last comment, just think about the crotchety British thesps filling out the rest of the cast.

June 11: The Stepford Wives. Oops, no, not a bright spot. The television ads are never-ending and look just atrocious. One can hold onto a sliver of hope that it will just be good self-conscious, cheese-tastic summer fun; on the other hand, that seems to be its problem, a dreadful reliance on kitsch and Nicole...I do love the Walken, though, so I'll not entirely leave out the possibility of redemption. But have you seen the trailer? Bah.

June 18: The Terminal. Okay, yes, I realize that Hannah listed this on her preview, but I feel compelled to comment on it. I have not yet found the Spielberg forgiveness, and while I think the trailer is actually pretty decent, I still have reservations about recommending a Spielberg movie (Catch Me if You Can brought him closer to redemption). But this seems to be lacking any apparent little-boy-lost issues (see: Catch Me if You Can, A.I., Hook, The Last Crusade, etc, etc) and while we can assuredly expect a damn schmaltz filled inappropriate ending to fuck up the whole thing, it looks like it might be a nice change. And, indeed, helloooo Miss Zeta-Jones...just when you think there can't be old-school movie stars...

June 25: Fahrenheit 9/11. The Brothers Weinstein (although, c'mon, you know it was all Harvey), to no one's surprise, are going around Disney to release documentary's biggest blowhard Michael Moore's latest Palme d'Or winning polemic. That said, I'm excited to see it--supposedly less Moore, more damning Bush footage. And if it means more bad press for the Bush Administration...One comment though: It's being released by a group founded purely for this purpose, and those crazy Weinsteins decided to name it The Fellowship Adventure Group. Wha-a? What were they on when they came up with that one? I mean, can we expect some Hobbits and wizened old wizards to be involved with this? And did anyone look at the abbreviation? Just saying...

June 30: Spider-Man 2. What can I say? The first one wasn't bad, I'm kinda sorta into the comic book superheroes. It's just...Kirsten Dunst is not acceptable and Tobey Maguire just keeps getting worse. But the elderly woman v.o. in the trailer? Superb. Nothing says good summer fun like moralizing old ladies. And steel-tentacled men. And spidey suits.