July Movie Preview

So I really only saw two new releases in June, which makes me vaguely sad...vaguely. But ta da! It's July! A whole new month of movies to get excited about, to go run off with your little friends to see. Maybe you'll even get popcorn. And maybe, at the very end of the month, I'll get to catch up on everything you saw before me. But until then, a preview.

July 2: Before Sunset. Richard Linklater's sequel to Before Sunrise, starring the original's Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy, and ostensibly about the same characters ten years later. The trailer makes it look largely the same as the first movie except Ethan Hawke looks haggard, which seems problematic, given that the first movie was largely based on the attractiveness of its two stars. Alas. The ravages of cheating on Uma, I suppose.

July 9: Anchorman. Will Ferrell is a god. If you think that I say this in jest, you have not yet experienced the Anchorman trailer (or Zoolander for that matter). Red polyester suits and hairsprayed hair galore! And it has Paul Rudd! Still not convinced? The trailer also has an anchorman knife fight complete with Vince Vaughn and Luke Wilson. Genius!

July 16: A Cinderella Story. MK Olsen is in rehab for an eating disorder (riiight...that's what it is), Lindsay Lohan has fake boobs (I mean, uh, sure they're real Lindsay) and skin the color of an Oompa Loompa, and Mandy Moore is too old. Where do we go for our fill of teen queens??!! Clearly the only options are the fat Olsen or back to good ol' saccharine sweet Hilary Duff. Remember: When you go to see this movie, you are supporting Hilary Duff, and allowing her to usurp the Lindsay quotient. Do with that what you will, but I think I may just learn to live with an orange teen queen.

July 23: Catwoman. It was thought that the Batman series could not get any worse after the last two (poor Chris O'Donnell...where did you go), but the makers of Catwoman apparently decided to take this statement as a challenge. Judging by the trailer, they can get worse! Admittedly this movie is not about the Dark Knight himself, but close enough. It's not like I particularly like Halle Berry to begin with, but couldn't she do better than this? And the costumes? What exactly were they thinking? Catwoman: The S&M years.

July 30: The Village. For the record, I thought Signs sucked. Actually, in retrospect, I largely think that all of M. Night Shyamalan's movies are a bit lackluster. So, am I looking forward to this one? Nope, not at all, except because of the damn trailer, I now feel compelled to see it. What's beyond the village, huh??? I need to know. Maybe I can just find out on Google. But if not, I'll have been suckered in by the insufferable advertising. Grrr. But for all of you rabid connoisseurs of all things Yale, Fran Kranz does appear in this film--or at the least, has an IMDb listing for it.